\author{Malcolm Clark} \title{Malcolm's Gleanings} \begin{Article} \section{Hints and allegations} Have you booked your trip to Dubna yet? Despite my own personal reservations I'm sure this will turn out to be one of the great TUG conferences, honest. Trust me. The sorts of efforts which are being made to ensure that all the delegates are welcomed when they arrive in Moscow and conveyed to Dubna seem to indicate that this is going to be a very effective and friendly affair. Go for it. It will be something to tell your grandchildren about. A colleague (David Wright) recently spent a few weeks in Moscow. I asked him for his comments, since they may be applicable to those who manage to attend the conference. He writes: ``I had a great time -- but I was lucky in having the option of staying with friends who have a good flat in one of the more privileged areas. I stayed for 2 nights in a student house -- pretty scummy and with a bathroom replete with cockroaches and a rat\slash mouse which lived behind the toilet. I was there as a student however and they do look after non-student guests better -- but you should be prepared for pretty basic accommodation and then anything better will be a pleasant surprise. This is a good rule of thumb for all areas of life in the former SU. Something you may notice is that Russians have a casual approach to safety -- the only way to be if you are permanently living in an environment where things are fairly out of control. For visitors it is worth being fairly cautious -- particularly with respect to traffic which is anarchic. From observation and what I have heard, emergency services are rudimentary or non-existent and many Russian hospitals are pretty run down -- so even with good medical insurance, you might find that initial treatment is tough. Having said that, life becomes pretty normal after a while and you can't spend your time wondering whether the Metro or buses are getting the requisite preventive maintenance -- they clearly aren't. You could pack a geiger counter if you are staying on the site of former or current reactors\dots Transport is very good actually -- you can travel as far as you like on the Metro for 1500 roubles (about 5,000 roubles to the dollar, so about 20p) - to do so you buy `jeton' which you feed into the barrier. On buses, trams, etc you can buy 10 tickets from the driver (a `knitchka' \textsl{lit.} small book) for 19,000 roubles -- valid on all versions (tram, trolleybus or bus) and for any length of journey. To validate one for a trip you stamp it in one of the coded punches in the vehicle. An absolute must to visit is the refurbished Tretyakof Gallery which is the centrepiece of Russian art -- but it is worth reading a bit or getting a guide unless you are the rare Westerner who knows anything about Russian art. The Pushkin also currently has two exhibitions (Moscow-Berlin 1900--1950 -- excellent, covering art, architecture, drama, film, etc.\ \emph{and} of course the new Trojan Gold (which opened the day I left). An annexe to the Pushkin which holds several private collections is also well worth a visit and for the really art mad there is also the House of Artists near Gorki Park (also a nice place to stroll in warm weather) which houses an extension to the Tretyakof and numerous other transient exhibitions. The Kremlin is fairly essential (both for the churches and the treasures -- which I didn't see, as I left some things for another trip), but if one wants a weird experience and is interested the Museum of the Revolution is it -- two of us went -- paid about 30p to get in and were the only people there (apart from the old ladies guarding every room). It is likely to disappear at least in this form so it will soon itself be history. Other places which are worth a go are the Bolshoi Theatre -- not the greatest in terms of performances but relatively cheap -- best tickets about 75,000 roubles. Don't fall for the ticket touts (anywhere) -- attendances by Russians have fallen off greatly because most have to prioritise expenditure fairly ruthlessly and the new rich have not yet matured into great patrons of the arts. The Conservatoire is interesting for its place in music history, but by modern standards the hall is not acoustically great (a bit like a school hall with pretensions). The music is good and varied, though with quite a lot of more modern Russian music. For the really authentic Russian art experience, however, try the theatre -- lots of them -- a very good one is the Mali near the Bolshoi which has been refurbished recently. You have to be prepared not to understand much so a Russian version of a play you know is probably best. The \textsl{Cheek by Jowl} theatre company were in Moscow when I was there, so if you want a Russian\slash Western experience there are sometimes such options. If you hate busy city life, try Suskova -- a preserved palace in the Moscow suburbs (South East), which has an interesting palace (wooden!), a lake a park, many folly\slash pavilions a couple of which house glass and porcelain collections. It is, though, also well worth walking round the back streets of Moscow, especially near the North West quarter of the inner garden ring (road). In spite of years of destruction there is still quite a lot left of what must have been a rather beautiful city. Food is a problem in Moscow -- not many good places. To get Russian fast food (pies basically, but don't try the synthetic borsch) try the Russian Bistros. For a good Russian meal (100,000 roubles and upwards each) there is a restaurant in the basement of one of the old university building in the centre of Moscow (a bit hard to find though). Changing money: you should take all your money ideally in dollars (in a money belt!) and change about \$100--150 a time. There are many places to do this (all marked `obmen valouti'). Some are pretty heavy places because they are protected against frequent raids, but they are ok. You should get a receipt of the transaction in case you are asked to show them at the airport when leaving (I wasn't). If they ask a question when you hand over you money, passport and visa -- you should carry both of the latter at all times -- just say `da' -- they are sure to be asking whether you want a receipt. \emph{Very important} -- take new notes (insist at the bank that they give you these) -- many exchange places refuse even slightly worn/soiled notes and there is only one central official exchange place where one can be certain that any note will be changed. This is not a fantasy: some people in our group had real problems because they couldn't change some of their money. At Sheremetevo airport expect the worst -- this is surely amongst the least welcoming of all airports in the world. We had a long wait at immigration (over an hour) and baggage appears to come randomly off the carousels. After a while it is just dumped anywhere on the floor of the baggage hall. When you leave, you go through customs before checking in your bags -- and you need to find the (unmarked) area where you get and fill in a customs declaration before you join a queue. In general most bureaucracy in Russia is just obstructive, however, rather than really threatening\dots Good luck.'' \section{Urgent Newsflash: Origins of \LaTeX} Another correspondent (RAR) sent me this towards the end of March, beginning of April. It has the uncomfortable ring of truth to it: ``U.S.\ Government Department of Defense papers released yesterday reveal the true source of the \LaTeX\ document preparation tool. Under the twenty-five year rule, hitherto secret Military Intelligence papers have been released into the public domain, detailing the Government involvement in the development of a prototype software tool. Major General Charles Schultz publicly apologised at a press meeting held to defuse what was described as a `tense situation' as the unsavoury origins of the `alleged software' were finally unearthed. Developed at the height of the Cold War, the prototype system was aimed at crippling the so-called `information net' within the Soviet high command. Maj.\ Gen.\ Schultz said, `We realised what would happen if an enemy organisation actually tried to create documents with this thing. Of course, it seems cold-blooded now, but you have to remember that this was at a time of war.' He added, `We never expected it to get out into general circulation'. Apparently, the software was released into a controlled environment under the cover of a beta-test at several academic sites in Europe and America. `We put in place all safety measures. However, we didn't fully appreciate the tenacity of academic staff in using and then illegally copying it into the wider environment. With hindsight, we should have taken a warning from the fact that they still thought Fortran was a good idea.' DoD boffins are rumoured to have panicked and released a beta-version of Emacs, the strangely popular editor-cum-operating-system in order to stem the spread of \LaTeX. However, Maj.\ Gen.\ Schultz declined to comment.'' Had Schultz gone further and revealed that Unix was a similar escaped virus, I would have been inclined to believe this. Still, a close friend maintains that the CIA was the major sponsor of Pollock and Rothko (among other major non-figurative artists) in order to confuse and alarm those pesky Russkies. It all depends on whether you believe in the conspiracy or cock-up theory of politics. \section{Fonts} Gleanings from the Web: Adobe and Microsoft have made an agreement to create a new font format called OpenType which will combine TrueType and Type~1 into a single new font format. This new format will use Adobe's new font compression to create compact fonts. Details can be found at the following URL: \url{www.microsoft.com/truetype/fontpack/opentype.htm} On the other hand, there is a history of alliances like this being made in order to ensure that the technology is still-born. Don't hold your breath. \end{Article}